


Inner Light

by spookyawards_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Episode: s01e20 Darkness Falls, F/M, Plot What Plot, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-14
Updated: 2005-12-14
Packaged: 2019-04-28 04:23:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14441322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyawards_archivist/pseuds/spookyawards_archivist
Summary: "A nice trip to the forest, my ass."Scenes and post-ep for Darkness Falls





	Inner Light

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Spooky Awards](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Spooky_Awards), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [SpookyAwards' collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/spookyawards/profile).

Title: Inner Light  
Author: OKayVal  
Website: http://donnilee.tripod.com/okayval Rating: NC-17  
Archive: Honored; just tell me where  
Category: RST, Post-Ep  
Pairings: Mulder/Scully  
Spoilers: Darkness Falls  
Disclaimer: Not mine, you know the drill. Summary: "A nice trip to the forest, my ass." Scenes and post-ep for Darkness Falls 

Written for Fandomonium's "Virtual Season of Smut" Challenge. Find the rest of these great stories here: http://www.fandomonium.net/challenges/xffics/vss1.htm 

Thanks to Fando for a fun challenge and a champagne toast to Tali for rescuing me yet again. 

"Why can't we pantomime, just close our eyes And sleep sweet dreams  
Me and you with wings on our feet  
I'm pushing an elephant up the stairs... 

\--R.E.M., "The Great Beyond"-- 

* * *

It felt like I had an elephant sitting on my chest. What else could possibly be that heavy? I couldn't move, could barely breathe. My face felt tight. I couldn't remember the last time I was in this much pain. 

I opened my eyes slowly. No elephant after all. But I was in some sort of clear plastic tent. What kind of fucked up circus was this? No elephants, just plastic. And white. White sheets across my body. Not a circus after all; I was lying in some sort of hospital bed, hooked up to an IV and oxygen. And I was alone. Alone? Scully--where was Scully? My memory came flooding back--swarming back, actually--and I grew cold. _Oh god_. I tried to yell for a nurse, but all that came out was a garbled croak. _Shit_. I fumbled around the bed for a call button. Nothing. I yanked on the oxygen tube, trying to pull it loose and alert someone. Visions flew into my head--finding Humphreys cocooned inside that truck, his face frozen into a silent scream-- _No! Not Scully!_ A nice trip to the forest, my ass. What the hell had I done? 

Finally someone entered the room. I assumed it was a nurse or a doctor, but it was hard to tell who was inside the white containment suit, their features all but hidden behind the glare of a faceplate. 

"What's wrong, Agent Mulder?" The voice crackled at me through a speaker in the suit. I felt like I was in a scene from 'The Andromeda Strain'. 

"Scully, my partner. Where is she?" My voice was barely audible. Agitated, I tried to get out of bed. My chest burned when I tried to sit up, and my legs refused to cooperate. 

"Agent Scully is here. Please try to stay calm, Agent Mulder." 

"She's alive? Where is she?" 

"Yes, she's alive." 

_Thank god_. Relief took over, and I sunk back into the pillow, shaking. 

"I want to see her." 

"You're hardly in a position to get out of bed yourself, Agent. You inhaled a large quantity of some sort of chemical and we're concerned about respiratory damage. Not to mention the burns. I was just about to get your test results." 

I raised my hand to my face and felt the scratches there, then closed my eyes and tried to force that elephant off my chest. Move, damn it. I mustered enough strength in my aching body to sit up. 

"I want to see Agent Scully," I said. The doctor looked at me disapprovingly through his plastic mask but left the room. I took a better look at my surroundings. I was apparently in some sort of containment facility. But at least I was alive. And Scully was alive. 

The doctor returned with a portable oxygen tank and outfitted me for my sojourn. He helped me get my reluctant body out of the bed and I gingerly made my way across the floor and through the sheets of plastic to find Scully. 

Another tented room. Machines. More white-suited space nurses. Two beds with figures lying sheathed in white. The first bed held Ranger Moore; Scully was lying in the second one. _Oh god_. Her skin was covered in scratches and burns. Her beautiful, porcelain skin. It was becoming more difficult not to notice her skin, or the rest of her, for that matter. I'd recently started to have impure thoughts about my partner and wasn't quite sure what to do about them. Scully didn't strike me as the sort of woman who would go for a quick roll in the hay. More importantly, I valued her as my partner. She was tough and plucky and smart, and even though she had a hard time believing some of my theories, she was at least willing to listen to me. That's more respect than I got from most people. I didn't want to do anything stupid to screw that up, but it was getting harder to ignore my growing attraction to her. 

In fact, there were moments during our little adventure in the forest where I couldn't help but stare at her. The casual clothes and that cute way she wore her hair made her look more like a college student than a doctor. And that clipped-back hairstyle allowed me a better view of her pale, slender neck. I tried to imagine what her skin would taste like, then mentally kicked myself for even thinking about it. 

But there were also the three sleepless nights we shared in that loggers' cabin, which had only one bedroom. I spent two of those nights lying on a cot across the room from Scully, listening to her soft breathing. Wondering if she was actually asleep. Wondering what she was wearing underneath all those clothes she was forced to sleep in because she was the lone woman sharing an isolated cabin with several men. 

On the first night, I tried to ignore Humphreys' muffled snores and keep glancing at Scully, curled up under the brown wool blanket on her cot. On the second night, Humphreys had disappeared, but Spinney was there, tossing and turning in the cot near the door. That night I caught Scully staring at me. She quickly turned her head and hid her face in the pillow, but her eyes shone too brightly for me not to have noticed where their aim had been. 

I pushed my fantasies aside in the morning, when the danger grew imminent and Scully chewed me out for letting Spinney leave with the last of our gasoline. She was upset that I made the decision without consulting her, but I realized later that she was also afraid. 

Spinney had not returned, forcing Moore, Scully and me to spend another night in the cabin. None of us could sleep; we stretched out on our cots and shared an uneasy silence, staring at the harsh glow of a lone lightbulb, the one thing we hoped was keeping the mites away. We soon learned we were not as safe as we'd thought; when Scully discovered some mites crawling across her hand, she panicked, flailing her arms around in terror and nearly shattering that lightbulb. I'd never seen her so frightened. When I grabbed her and tried to calm her down, she trembled in my arms. I led her to a cot at the opposite corner of the room and sat her down. I held her until she stopped shaking and insisted she was fine. I could still sense her fear and embarrassment but I released her anyway. 

I knew we'd never get any sleep, so I remained seated next to Scully on the cot to wait out the dark night with her. We spoke in soft whispers and she sat very close to me, her body warm against my side. When she shifted slightly, I felt the unmistakable curve of her breast graze against my arm, even through the baggy shirt and vest that concealed it. I tried to ignore the spark of arousal caused by that small touch and concentrate on what Scully was saying. I turned my head to hear her better and found her mouth just inches from mine. Her lips were parted slightly; without thinking, I brushed them with a kiss, gentle at first, and then more firmly when she did not pull away. In fact, her lips parted further, and her hand appeared out of nowhere to rest on my thigh. My hand came up to the back of her neck and my tongue flicked at hers. That small spark of arousal caught fire and my groin tightened. 

Then Moore coughed, loudly. _Shit_. I'd forgotten all about him, sitting in the far corner of the bedroom. I broke the kiss and dropped my hand from Scully's neck, and she removed hers from my thigh and looked away. But she did not move away. Neither one of us spoke after that, but we remained close together on the cot, staring at anything in the room but never looking at each other until we heard the generator sputter and die. By then it was dawn and nothing else mattered but getting the hell away from that place. 

We barely made it. The doctors told me that Scully had lost a lot of fluids; a few more hours in that Jeep and we would not have survived, would have suffered the same horrible fate as those poor loggers and everyone else left behind in that forest. 

* * *

Scully and I never spoke about the kiss. Not while we were being treated in the containment facility. Not during the plane ride home. Not once. But I kept thinking about it and wondered if Scully ever thought about it too. 

The doctors cleared us to return to work but Skinner gave us an extra day off, so I was pleased to see Scully looking much better when she walked into the office on our first day back. The scars on her face had nearly healed and she appeared well-rested. We made small talk but neither one of us mentioned the kiss. It was like having an elephant in the room. I hadn't gotten rid of the one sitting on my chest after all; he'd followed me home to DC. 

Scully was anxious to analyze the samples we'd brought back from Olympia, so she departed for the lab before lunch, leaving me on my own. I couldn't decide if she was avoiding me or truly focused on wrapping up this case. I spent the day drafting angry reports and tearing them up, frustrated in my efforts to try and explain my conclusions about where the mites had come from. Skinner informed me that Humphreys' company was disappointed with how the FBI had handled the case, even though we'd answered the original question of what had happened to the loggers. 

I finally came up with a version I thought both Skinner and the logging company would buy, and was putting the finishing touches on it when Scully returned. It was late and we were both surprised to find each other still at work. 

"Hey Scully, what are you doing here? I thought you were going straight home from the lab." 

"I wanted to finish my report tonight." Her hair was clipped back and the well-rested look from the morning was gone, replaced by a furrow in her brow. 

She seated herself at the back desk and I watched her rifle through her notes. That elephant was back, and I tried to figure out how to get him out of the way. I decided I could start by showing her the report I'd struggled with. I walked over to the printer to get the draft I hadn't shredded yet. 

Scully's sudden shriek pierced the silence and I spun around to find her jumping out of her chair as it clattered to the floor behind her. She nearly tripped over it as she stumbled away from the desk and toward me. 

"Scully! What's wrong?" She propelled herself against me and I grabbed her arms to steady her. She was shaking, and her face bore the same frightened look that I'd seen in Olympia Forest. Her eyes, wide and pale, darted back to the floor beside her chair. 

"There! There!" she said. I kept hold of her with one arm and bent down to study the floor where she pointed. At first I couldn't see anything. Then a small brown ant crawled into view and I understood. 

"It's nothing, Scully. It's just an ant. ONE ant." I stuck out my foot and stomped on it. "See?" I removed my foot and she stared at the brown splat on the floor. Beneath my grip, I felt the tension in her arms subside. 

"Oh god, I'm sorry, Mulder. I guess I'm still just a little skittish about bugs." 

I pulled her closer, giving her a reassuring hug. She glanced around, looking back toward the floor again, as if to make sure there really wasn't anything swarming down there. 

"Scully, it's okay. You have nothing to be embarrassed about." 

"I know, Mulder," she said softly, measuring me with azure eyes. "I just shouldn't let it get to me like that." 

"Don't be so hard on yourself. We both nearly died out there. Look how many people DID die. I was afraid, too. There was nothing normal about what happened to us in that forest. There's nothing normal about the X-Files. Not even me. You should have figured that out by now." 

She managed a grin and I gave her another hug and brushed my lips against her soft hair. Her scent was intoxicating and she felt so warm in my arms. And this time there was nobody else in the room. Just the two of us. And that goddamned elephant. I moved my lips from her hair and brought my mouth down to hers. I waited for her to pull away but instead she welcomed me, nipping at my bottom lip. I accepted her invitation and my tongue sought hers eagerly. 

Scully's hands roamed across my back, her fingers leaving fiery sparks that I felt even through my cotton shirt, felt all the way to my groin. 

"This is probably not a good idea," I mumbled against her mouth. 

"No," she said, more of a gasp than a word. 

My blood simmered. This was crazy. I was playing with dynamite. But I was rock hard and there was no turning back now. I let my mouth feast on her lips and along her neck, at last tasting the sweetness of her skin. I slid my hand up her sweater and cupped one of her breasts, feeling warm flesh and the peak of her nipple even through her bra. She whimpered, a soft sound of arousal; I ground myself against her, my erection urgently prodding against her soft belly, until her whimper became a gasp. 

We kissed and groped each other, with wild hands and mouths, teetering backwards until Scully bumped against the desk. I lifted her up and set her on the desktop, scattering her carefully arranged notes to the floor. Scully was too busy clutching at my belt buckle to notice and I had more important things to occupy myself with. I slipped my hand under her skirt and slid it along her thighs, covered in silky nylon. She squirmed and jerked her hips at me until my hand was directly at the warm juncture between her legs. I pressed against her, felt her wetness even through the layers of fabric that blocked my way. _Your partner is wet for you--holy shit_. She let out a soft moan and continued working at my belt. Those skilled hands of hers soon had my zipper open and she tried to wrap her small fingers around my hard cock. I yanked my pants and boxers down and she zeroed in on her target. 

When her fingers encircled my cock, my brain short-circuited and my body took over. I clawed at her nylons--I don't even know how I got them off but somehow they ended up on the floor and I was able to push her skirt up and slide her panties down. One of us mumbled something about a condom but neither of us stopped to find one. Rational thought had ceased. There was only heat and need. 

I stepped between her spread thighs and slipped inside her, just a little. Her eyes gleamed and I pushed further. _God_. The heat of her. She was slick and sure, and I wanted to bury myself in her. I began to move faster; Scully moaned and started making little circles with her hips, immersing me in her liquid heat. She felt fucking amazing. 

Still recovering from the injuries that left us both weakened, our bodies raced towards release; my strokes quickened and Scully tightened around me, so smooth, so hot. Her eyes closed and her mouth slackened, and she panted out little rapid huffs of air. 

"Let go," I whispered, and thrust deeper. Her fingers dug into my skin and I felt her vibrate beneath me as her orgasm spiraled through her. The sensation of her walls coiling around my cock was intense and I came, spilling into her hard and fast as I tumbled over the edge. 

When I could breathe again, I realized we were sprawled across the desktop, still wearing most of our clothes. Scully peered at me through half-closed, azure eyes. She gave me a tiny smile but as I slid out of her and shifted my weight, her eyes widened as she realized what had just happened. Her smile vanished; she pushed at my chest until I moved off of her, and she sat up and scrambled off the desk. 

"I have to go," she muttered, tearing away from me. She pulled her skirt down, grabbed for her shoes and skidded out of the room, a wild blur. 

_Shit_. What the hell was this? My pants and boxers were bunched around my ankles; I pulled them back up and started toward the door. 

"Scully! Wait!" 

I stepped into the hallway. The door to the restroom was closed and I knew she'd sought safe haven inside. 

"Scully!" She did not answer me. 

I assumed that she would not emerge if she thought I was waiting for her, so I went back into the office and closed the door. I waited behind it, and soon heard the restroom door open and the click of Scully's heels as she sped down the hallway. When I heard the ding of the elevator, I slunk back to my desk, picking up her discarded pantyhose which were lying in a jumble on the floor. I ran the nylon fabric through my fingers and contemplated the fact that I had just screwed my partner. On a desk. I put my head down and shut my eyes. 

I became aware of a dull ache drumming through my body, which made no sense until I opened my eyes and realized I had fallen asleep at my desk, Scully's pantyhose still wound around my hands. I glanced at my watch; it was after eight o'clock in the morning already, and Scully would soon be here. I considered going home to change but decided that I needed to be here when she arrived. I rolled her nylons into a ball and tossed them in my drawer, not wanting anyone else to find them. I hurried into the restroom to clean up as best I could without a shower, shave or change of clothes. 

Scully arrived on schedule, and I watched her every move as she removed her coat and set her briefcase down. She really was beautiful. Had I always thought so? I'm sure she knew I was staring at her, but she kept her eyes focused on a glaring reminder from last night--her lab notes, still strewn across the floor. Damned elephant was apparently still here, too. Did I fuck things up by fucking her? 

"Good morning, Scully." I tried to sound bright and friendly. Apparently I overdid it, because she looked at me warily. 

"Good morning." She paused, taking in my disheveled appearance. "Mulder, did you spend the night here?" 

"Yep. You wouldn't happen to have an electric shaver in your purse, would you? Or a clean shirt?" 

She ignored my attempt at levity and approached my desk, arms folded across her chest. 

"Mulder," she began carefully, and I knew she'd rehearsed whatever she was about to say. Good. At least one of us had thought about it. I had no idea what I was going to say to her. 

"I'm sorry," she continued, "sorry for my outburst yesterday and sorry for leading you on." 

"Leading me on? Is that what you think happened here?" I replied. "Remember it takes two, Scully. I seem to recall being a very willing participant." 

"Whatever. It was reckless, and I'm sorry if I put you in an awkward position." 

"Nothing awkward about it..." I bit back my remark, sensing that glibness would only make things more difficult. She looked rather miserable but was trying to remain composed. I regrouped. 

"Scully, look. Maybe I'm the one that should apologize, even though I think both of us were a little out of control. Maybe I got turned on by being the big, protective male. But that doesn't change the fact that I nearly got you killed out there in that forest." 

"It wasn't your fault, Mulder." 

"Not directly, but I still feel responsible. You can see that bad things follow me around." Then a thought occurred to me; maybe Scully was going to use last night as an excuse to leave. That's not what I wanted at all. 

"Scully, is this your way of telling me that you want to leave the X-Files?" 

"Of course not, Mulder. I still want to be your partner. I just want you to know that I will behave more professionally from now on." 

"You mean no more down and dirty in the office? I agree, this isn't the best place for..." 

"No more down and dirty, period, Mulder," she interrupted. "We're partners. It's not right." 

"Right has nothing to do with it, Scully. It seems to be something we both wanted." 

Scully's eyes flickered at the word "both," and I sensed that she was reconsidering something she'd thought was already decided. 

"I still want to be your partner, Mulder," she repeated. "I think that comes first, before anything else." 

"So what are you suggesting? Do we pretend this never happened? Never talk about it? Like that kiss in Olympia?" 

"That might be best, Mulder," she said. 

"Well, I can pretend. But I won't forget." I told her softly. Her eyes turned azure again and she gave me a long look. Before she could say anything, I got up from the desk and left the room, granting her wish to end the discussion. I really didn't want to lose her as a partner, so if this was the way she wanted it, I was going to respect her decision. 

I went home to change and when I returned, Scully briskly asked whether I had finished my report on Olympia Forest. I retrieved the copy which was still sitting in the printer and handed it to her without a word. We worked through the rest of the day barely speaking to each other. That fucking elephant was making himself at home. 

I tried to ignore the growing tension, but when Scully donned her coat to leave and offered a hurried "Good night, Mulder," I couldn't stand it anymore. 

"Scully, can I ask you one question?" 

She stopped buttoning her coat and waited for me to continue. I found myself staring at her mouth and wishing I could taste her lips again. 

"If I wasn't your partner, well..." I stopped and held my hand up, hoping she'd understand what I was trying to say. Apparently I was very clear; she blushed furiously and gave me a tiny smile. 

After she left, I sat for a long while, tossing pencils at the ceiling and thinking. Ignoring things was not going to work. There was no way I could be around her now without remembering how incredible it felt to be inside her, how amazing she looked when I made her come. And I wanted to feel that again, to see her like that again. Why couldn't we make this work? 

Glancing at a file I'd been reading earlier, I reached for the phone and dialed a number I knew by heart. She answered on the first ring. 

"Hey, Scully, it's me. I've just received some new information on Tooms' parole date, and I think we need to go over it. I'm on my way over now to drop off the file so you can start looking at it." 

I smiled at her reply, then hung up the phone and rose to leave, the file tucked safely under my arm. There's more than one way to get rid of an elephant. 

* * *

Finis

* * *

Feedback welcomed. It's all good!

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Title: **Inner Light**  
Author: OKayVal  
Details: 21k  ·  NC-17  ·  Standalone  ·  12/14/05  ·   Email/Website      
Gossamer Category(Keywords): Story   [Romance, Sex (PWP)]     
Pairings: Mulder/Scully   
SPOILERS: Darkness Falls   
SUMMARY: "A nice trip to the forest, my ass."   
Scenes and post-ep for Darkness Falls   



End file.
